Fish Out of Water
by sea-wren-dip-a-tea
Summary: Percy and Rachel 'try to date' but after one disastrous family dinner they decide they are better off as friends. Oneshot.


Credz to the little mermaid for giving me this inspiration (I don't know why either)

Disclaimer: I don't own Percy Jackson basically.

Description: Percy and Rachel 'try' to date but after one disastrous family dinner they decide they are better off as friends. ONESHOT.

Percy was nervously standing outside Rachel's house.

A week previously, Rachel had suggested that they try dating, to see if it would work between them. Percy had breathed a slight sigh of relief when Rachel suggested their "free trial" relationship. Percy really liked Rachel, he felt comfortable around her and she was nice to talk to, but as a girlfriend? He honestly didn't know. He didn't know why he felt a heavy feeling of guilt about not telling Annabeth about the arrangement. He knew that she would charge to New York from California to give Rachel an icy glare and a snide remark. It's not like it actually counted as a real relationship anyway, there was nothing to say. He didn't want to disrupt Annabeth's important architecture work, Percy convinced his guilty conscience.

Percy shuffled his feet as he stood on the doorstep of Rachel's house, house was an underestimation, it was about half the size of his 10 storey apartment block. And the whole thing belonged to Rachel's family. Percy was wearing a shirt- he hadn't known he even _owned_ a shirt. His blue converse were scuffed and combing his hair was pointless as it got mussed up as he skateboarded across town. He had hidden his board under a hydrangea bush. Percy felt like he should be going through the back entrance of the mansion townhouse.

He tugged nervously at his collar as a small dark woman opened the door into a marble hallway. "Err...thanks" he mumbled. Rachel thundered down the staircase in her doodled on jeans and a nice white shirt. She burst into laughter seeing Percy staring around him in awe in the foyer that was larger than his kitchen and living room combined.

"You looked less terrified facing Kronos." She spluttered.

"Well, I can't just stab your dad with Riptide, now can I?" Percy replied sarcastically.

Rachel snorted and shook her head affectionately. "Dinner isn't for a while so we should, y'know, hang out in my room for a bit." "Uh, yeah" Percy replied intelligently. A silence settled between them as they went up the staircase.

Percy sat on the edge of Rachel's bed and looked around her room. He had been here before, of course, but usually she just dragged him there through a series of back entrances and a shortcut through the basement. Her room was full of cool stuff but Percy was really avoiding looking at Rachel. There was never an awkward layer of tension around them until they became a "couple". A proper couple would probably be making out in this situation but the one time Percy tried that with Rachel they dissolved into giggles after a few seconds.

Percy eyed the cupboard where he knew there was an Xbox with two controllers and probably an early release video game. But it would be hard to play Call of Duty when you feel like you should be holding hands with your opponent.

"Sooooooooo…" Rachel began but was cut short by a maid knocking on the door declaring dinner to be ready. The both silently sighed in relief. The maid eyed Percy from his squeaky soled shoes and his dark messy fringe, already mentally declaring him a troublemaker.

Percy pulled out Rachel's seat for her in such a gentlemanly fashion that Sally Jackson would be proud. She muttered something about sexism but smiled nonetheless at the gesture.

Rachel's father sat at the head of the table. He was still wearing a suit and looked happy, as if he had just secured a deal for a new series of shopping malls. Rachel's mother was seated at the opposite end, a strained smile on her face at the sight of Rachel's 'creative' jeans. The Dares quickly turned their attention to Percy.

Mr. Dare politely asked Percy how school was, he replied that it was better than ever. He asked Percy what he plans on doing after school, he nervously replied something about being a marine biologist. Honestly, he had never really imagined living beyond sixteen.

The conversation continued on in polite small talk as a chef brought out a large glittering silver pot, and placed it on a table to the side. Percy felt the familiar feeling he always felt when a sea creature was nearby. He wondered idly if the Dares had a fish tank.

"What's the main course this evening, Lionel?" Mrs. Dare asked the bustling chef.

Lionel grinned and held up the large pot. "Lobsters in garlic sauce with julienne leeks! They're so fresh they're still snapping! I'll serve the soup firstly, of course."

Rachel watched the colour drain from Percy's face. He really didn't like to eat seafood, it felt like an abomination.

"Mom, Percy doesn't like seafood." Rachel said loudly.

"No, no. Really it's alright! I don't want to be a bother." Percy had begun to blush.

Rachel glared at him to stop acting like an idiot. "No. He's, like, allergic. Yeah, he's really allergic!"

Percy glared at Rachel to shut up. Mrs. Dare watched the exchange quietly. "Well, I'm sure Lionel can whip something else up!"

Percy was turning a deep red at the unwanted attention. He felt very out of place sitting at a table with a white tablecloth and 3 different types of forks. It didn't help that he could hear the moans and panicked screeches of the lobsters as they died in a silver pot across the room. Percy felt overwhelmed by the awkward fake relationship with Rachel, and keeping this awkward relationship from Annabeth, and feeling like a fish out of water in the freaking _mansion_ that was Rachel's house, and now there were 4 lobsters screaming "Save us, Son of the Sea God" as they suffocated in sauce.

He clenched his fists as he felt a tug in his stomach. The lid of the pot exploded off the pot, propelling the four lobsters into the air and showering the Dares with sauce. It stained the thick Persian carpet, it landed in everybody's hair and the dazzling white tablecloth was now polka dotted with disgusting yellow spots. The lobsters crashed into a portrait that hung opposite, and slid down the wall leaving a trail of sauce on the wallpaper. They snapped off into freedom, thanking Percy.

The humans in the room were silent with shock. Rachel began to silently giggle, until her giggles turned to raucous guffaws, her body shaking with laughter. Percy began to smirk and that soon turned into a snigger. Even Mr. Dare had a slight smile on his lips as he went to change out of his splattered suit.  
Rachel dragged Percy out of the dining room and they plopped down on her bed. "How about we order pizza?" she suggested.

Percy sat up and a smiled widely. "That's the best thing you've said all day!"

Rachel held up one finger. "And, how about we forget about this whole "relationship" thing and go back to being buddies?"

Percy jumped up from his seat. "Forget what I said, _**that's**_ the best thing you've said all day!"

The pizza came and they lounged on the floor, video game paused, devouring the greasy New York pizza with their hands.

"Anyway," Rachel said, her mouth full of pizza, "you are tooooootally in love with Annabeth."

Percy threw a crust at her playfully.


End file.
